Week One

And the Premiership kicks off with, well, quite a boring start really. Arsenal, Man Utd, Liverpool and Chelsea all kept clean sheets so there was a nice wodge of points for most people. Biggest wodge of all went to Ben, who surges into a twelve point lead. Four clean sheets plus goals (and assists) from Matthew Etherington and Kevin Phillips means that Not Much Kop, who I sang the praises of last week (Note to self - remember to edit post which said Ben's team was rubbish) sit atop the table at the end of week 1, exactly as they did last year. And we all remember how well that turned out.

Defoe and Crespo helped the Monkey Spankers to an early second place, with Wayne Rooney and Rapey van Persie sliding the chilli-tastic Mark B to third.

Meanwhile, at the bottom, no goals, no assists, no hope Lozza props up the table, with Tim edging him out on assist difference thanks to £2.5m-per-point Ljungberg. Also, my strategic decision to have two Aston Villa defenders bears early fruit as they concede two goals at home to Bolton within 8 minutes of the kick-off.

Hopefully there'll be lots more goals in future weeks as clean sheets are a bit, well, dull. Meanwhile, may I draw your attention to the fact that QPR are currently in an automatic promotion spot. Though the likelihood of us still being there at the end is as remote as Not Much Kop winning the fantasy league.